What is self compassion?
How to use self compassion as a tool in recovery.
I came across Dr. Kristin Neff while listening to a podcast and instantly connected with her description of self compassion.
Podcast
What is self-compassion?
Self-compassion can be described as having three main elements:
1. Self-kindness
2. Common humanity (acknowledging that you are human)
3. Mindfulness
Self compassion allows you to be kind and supportive to yourself even if you feel you have mishandled a situation or think you’ve done something wrong.
Turning compassion inward allows you to become more supportive and understanding of your inner self, it extends compassion to yourself in moments of felt inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.
Self-compassion shows support instead of being judgemental towards ourselves.
Learning the skills of self-compassion are just as important as learning how to set a goal in recovery.
Journal Prompt:
Can you think of a time where you showed yourself compassion?
In order to be self-compassionate you need to learn to accept where you are and also understand how you got to where you are. This means learning to accept that you have done the best you could in each situation with the skills you had at the time.
Taking responsibility, turning toward your behaviours allows you to learn lessons and commit fully to recovery. You don’t need to be harsh to yourself in order to recover.
Saying you're a human, being honest that your healthy self wasn’t strong, and being open to your eating disorder self, allows yourself to learn and commit to healthy-self behaviours.
How to practice self-compassion:
1. Mindfulness: This is the first step to self compassion. You learn to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings and practice being kind to ourselves. It’s a practice of acknowledging your thoughts and feelings.
It’s easier to be compassionate towards others, step outside yourself, like how you would see a friend and say wow you’re really hurting and that’s okay.
2. Self compassion snack: intentional mindfulness, reminding yourself you’re not alone. When there is a negative thought or emotion it’s time for a self compassion snack. You can do this with words and or touch.
Identify the emotion you’re feeling, locate the feeling in the body, put a gentle hand over the area in the body which practices caring and kindness, try to soften the body around the emotion and say something kind to yourself.
(I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, is there anything I can do for you?)
Self Compassion Snack
3. Make friends with inner critic:
“I see you’re trying to help me but these negative emotions aren’t helping me grow and I’m committed to my recovery.”
“The more I accept myself the more I can grow.”
You can choose the hard thing which is often the healthy self and recovery choice.
Modelling self-compassion out loud will educate others and show people there is a better way to talk to themselves.
Self compassion is a practice, the more you engage in self compassion, the more natural it will become. Today try to be mindful about self compassion and try to notice any thought patterns around a certain time of day, meal, or task.
You can always reach out to me if you or a loved one is struggling with an unhealthy relationship with food and or body.
-Alexandra Forsythe